Thanks, Grampies!

Forgive the photos, which are taken through a tiny window at Clara's ballet studio, over the heads of all the other parents crowded around it each week.  But boy, does Clara love ballet class.  She's in the middle of the first shot, the jumper in the second, and the one with the headband in the third.  

She's a heavily sponsored girl, that Clara.  Ballet classes from one set of grandparents, zoo membership from another, preschool from another.  It is sort of humbling to be in your late (!) 30's and relying on your parents to provide the kind of things for your little ones you thought you would be able to give to them, but I feel like more and more families I talk to are relying on the grace and generosity of our parents. Somehow it seems we've reached a day and age where living on one income, particularly an unpredictable income from self-employment that requires you to pay for your own health insurance, is extremely difficult if not impossible.  Not to mention what happens when years of infertility or some other disaster wipes out your entire savings. But it was so very important to us for me to stay home with our children in these early years, especially after we endured so much to have them. We are so lucky to have these extras--we know that not everyone has families that are able to do for them what ours have. These kind of gifts mean so much more than any toy or outfit ever could.  Not only do they enrich our kids' lives in a multitude of ways, they have provided time for me to spend alone with each of them during the day, something to be very thankful for when you live hundreds of miles from the nearest grandparent and can't afford a babysitter.  We are so appreciative.

Every day Clara tells us something she's learned from school or dance, music or swimming, from one outing or another.  Even in her low moments the impact is clear.  Take today, for example.  I bought her a new treat, these rice treats sweetened with melon juice.  They seemed like a healthy dessert option, and apparently they were delicious, because she wanted another one.  NOW, she told me.  Clara has never been a big tantrum thrower, thank-goodness (an arena in which her sister seems to be training to win a gold medal), but the combination of having a bad cold and being tired made this an issue for which she was willing to go to the mat. 

Clara: I am going to eat another one, RIGHT NOW.

Mama:  You have already had one today and there aren't that many in the package, so we are going to save them for another time.  You can have some fruit or cheese.

Clara:  I don't care.  I want to eat one.

Mama:  You are welcome to have one tomorrow.

Clara: (Making squeezed-up-lionish face)  I AM ANGRY!!!!!

Mama:  I can see that.  It's fine to be angry, but we'll still need to wait for tomorrow to eat another.

Clara:  WELL...WELL THEN...(Clearly searching for the absolute worst and meanest thing she can possibly say)...I AM NEVER GOING TO INVITE YOU TO EAT LUNCH AT MY SCHOOL AGAIN EVER!!!!

This was really the first time she's attempted to say something mean to me, and I had to restrain myself from giggling at her choice.  My friend's two-year-old daughter once told her that her hair was ugly and dirty, for example.  I expected something more personal.  I'm sure that will come.  She retracted this statement later when she'd had a chance to calm down--it's nice to know I am again welcome on the premises of Puddletown School.  But that moment of anger did show me what a special place school is to her, how much of an honor it seemed to her to invite us into what she considers her world.  I could see the sense of ownership she's developed there, how highly she thinks of it.  I love when she comes home and tells me about a lesson she had or shows me something she made there or tells me about what she wants to learn next, but this moment showed me her deep connection to the sacredness of school.  I am hoping that the benefits of these "extras" in her life now extend to her life beyond now, and loving school as your special place to learn and be cared for in community is definitely something I am excited for her to hold in her heart.  One more reason to be grateful to the grandparents!!